Paleo Snobs

Two-fer!

Sun, 07 Oct 2012 17:06:00 -0400

Hi!

I am 4 weeks in on the paleo challenge with my derby league, and just yesterday began the paleo challenge with my Crossfit gym. I really have to say that I am having a lot of fun with this. I thought it would end up being pretty difficult and a great testament to my willpower, but its forcing me to cook a lot more, which in turn is saving me money and money is a cool thing. Hopefully my before and after pictures will be awesome enough that they will be worth posting; I know people love a good before and after.

If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you’ve probably read about how I went from being pretty sick without any real diagnosis, to feeling amazing with the help of food. Going through all of that helped me realize that what you’re fueling your body with is super important, but now I’m really starting to understand it.

I actually began eating strict about a week before the derby challenge started, so that’s 5 weeks of strict paleo as of today. There is seriously a difference in my body and what I’m able to do; when I walked into my Crossfit gym 5 months ago, I couldn’t lift 12 lbs over my hea. That was the result of a fractured scapula and separated A/C joint that happened two years ago, and no physical therapy. I was able to do a floor press at 22lbs, but it was difficult. I actually have quite a bit of difficulty with many of the movements we do in Crossfit, but I always push myself to be unafraid and do the best I can. It’s so similar to derby where you can get caught up in worrying about how everybody else is doing better than you, going faster than you, lifting heavier than you etc. I am SO proud of myself this month, and I have to pat myself on the back. I did a 55lb split jerk last week EFFORTLESSLY, and I benched 75lbs for 1 rep!!! You guys, I NEVER thought I would be able to do anything like this. I am pretty new to lifting and it’s easy to PR when you’re new but going from being able to lift like, nothing, to being able to lift 55lbs over head in the span of 6 months is so freakin’ exciting. Just had to share it.

Anyway, onto the fun stuff!

Paleo Snobs is teaming up with my long time buddy Jay Pepito and his blog TRAIN SUPREME to bring some extra recipes to the interwebz that are easy to make, tasty and budget friendly. If you live in the LA area and you’ve been to Hugo’s Restaurant, you’ve probably had the Very Green Casserole. My first post on Train Surpreme is my own take on that, so check it out. Its like you’re getting two recipes in one post, ya’ll!

I have a guest recipe post from Katelyn of Poor Paleo Me. I saw this on her Instagram and absolutely needed to know what it was and if I could share it with the world. I am pretty stoked that she agreed! The great thing about this recipe is that you can make it meatless if you want, or you can make it with another type of protein if pork is not your thang. Thanks, Katelyn!

Roasted Stuffed Acorn Squash

- Acorn squash (1 medium squash)
- Broccoli (1 cup)
- Sweet potato (2 potatoes)
- Carrot (2 carrots)
- Kale (2 cups)
- Pork tenderloin (depends how much meat you want)
- Extra virgin olive oil
- Sea salt
- Chipotle seasoning (or seasoning of choice)

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Cut acorn squash in half lengthwise. Scoop seeds out and discard. Lightly drizzle EVOO inside the halves. Place oiled side facedown in pan. Bake for 40 minutes. (Squash should be soft enough that you can push it in with your finger.)
*Cut broccoli, sweet potato, carrot, and kale. Toss vegetables with EVOO (you don’t need much, just enough to lightly coat everything) and sprinkle with sea salt in separate baking pan. Roast for 30 minutes. Turn vegetables over a few times while they’re roasting.
*Lightly coat a pan with EVOO on medium heat for the pork tenderloin. Rub chipotle seasoning on both sides. Place in pan and cook through. Dice when fully cooked.
*Mix pork with vegetables and place inside a squash half.
*Tada!

(Amount of vegetables/meat depends on how much you want. This is what I did for one squash.
One squash = two meals)

Finally: AN UPDATE

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 19:37:50 -0400

I am SO sorry I have been MIA. Life is busy. I started school…I’m only taking one class right now - nutrition science - because of my lack of time. I’m really just getting my feet wet so I can get back into the school swing. I haven’t been to school in almost 10 years. It’s hard. On top of that, I am trying to balance roller derby, Crossfit, work and my personal life. I need like, three more days in the week. Actually, I’m just kidding. It isn’t that bad. I’m getting used to it.

I’m also leading a six week paleo challenge with my derby league. There are 18 people involved, and everybody is doing great so far. We even have a participant who has lowered her blood pressure and cholesterol, and lost 7 lbs IN THE FIRST WEEK. That is amazing.

Ok, you don’t really care about me, you just want some recipes. I will be better about updating since I am doing this challenge, I’m cooking more food, and trying to add more veggies in my diet. YAY.

Pumpkin Zucchini Apple muffin soufle thingz

There are a lot of things involved in this, and so that’s why the name is dumb. I guess if you don’t like apple, you could omit it. I am just lusting after the fall since it’s still warm in LA.

1 medium zucchini squash - shredded

1 apple, peeled (you could use Gala or Honeycrisp)

3 teaspoons sunflower seed butter

OPTIONAL: 2 tablespoons maple syrup (the real stuff)

1 cup pumpkin puree

1/2 cup almond flour

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

pinch of ginger

pinch of pumpkin pie spice

pinch of baking soda

- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

- Grate your zucchini and apple. Make sure you dry your zucchini between paper towels. Press all of the moisture out until the zucchini feels dry. Place both into a large bowl

- Whisk your eggs, and put all ingredients together in a bowl; combine

- Line a muffin tin with liners, or grease the tin. I used walnut oil, but coconut oil will work too. Fill up each tin half way.

- Bake for 20 minutes

- Eat it and be happy.

Whole Life Challenge post 2 by Viva Violence

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 00:43:28 -0400

One week into the Whole Life Challenge. Its been a little rough, cutting out ALL added sugar. But I’m sure it will have great results. It will be really interesting to see how this goes. I did well on the baseline workout (1/2 mile run, 30 pullups, and as many burpees as possible in the remaining time of 12 minutes). Your score is the number of burpees you completed. I did 61; doing 61 burpees sucks, btw. Here’s my embarrassing, ½ naked before picture:

Well, I thought I’d spew some cavewoman knowledge at you while I have this guest posting. I’m really glad to post on paleo snobs because that’s what I am. I work in a world of right and wrong. I like lines and boundaries. Anything worth doing is worth doing 100 fucking percent. Also, I like to do things myself and live below the poverty line for my area (Santa Barbara) so am stoked to do things on the cheap.
Here’s my take on Paleo:
When I started cleaning up my diet, I did a lot of internet research. One site I came across was the whole 9 life. Now, as with many things I read, I don’t agree with a lot of things they say or do, but there are a few things I strongly do. Mostly: sex with your pants on. SWYPO means bastardizing food to fit ‘paleo’. Similar to normal sex, if you’re going to do it Just fucking do it. Heavy petting leaves you wanting more, and is a shitty substitute for the real thing. Same goes for food. I’m eating this way to be healthy. Pizza isn’t healthy, but it tastes so damn good. So, I’m not going to bastardize this delicious food because (1) it won’t satisfy my craving (2) its still a not - whole - food that is probably not very good for you. One day, when there is amazing pizza in front of me, I’ll eat the shit out of it because it’s delicious and I’ll make the decision that for that occasion, its worth eating something bad. This goes for paleo bread, paleo pancakes, paleo-fillintheblankwithyourfavoriteindulgence. This doesn’t mean I won’t have dessert or whatever, but I will have it as a whole food, not a bastard version of my favorite treat. (If you want to prove to me that your bastard food tastes good, I will eat it, but won’t make it myself).
Next, I think the reader might be interested in a normal shopping list (Trader Joe’s for this example):

2 dozen eggs
1 bag of: kale, spinach & arugala
bunch of bananas
whatever berry looks good and is in season
variety of veggies (tomatoes, peppers, carrots, brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower +)
sweet potato
almond butter (creamy w/ salt)
meat (red meat, chicken, & salmon usually)
1-2 bags of raw or dry roasted nuts (most are roasted in canola oil-stay away from that)
olive oil & coconut oil
bag of 4 avocados (for $3, its cheaper than ANYWHERE!)
frozen chicken tenders (boil, shred & make chicken salad for lunch)
frozen shrimp (M or L)
tomato paste

I REALLY wish they carried full fat coconut milk. Instead, I go 5 doors down and pick that up from the Japanese market. This covers most basics. If I can, I’ll go to farmer’s market to get my produce there. But for the busy, working athlete this about sums it up! Bottom line: your body wants real food that you EAT (not processed crap that you drink)… Give it to her!
Props to all of you that stayed clean & healthy at RollerCon! You’re an inspiration (Semper Fatale, Razor & Tiggz!) Next week I’ll be eating 1-2 meals in the dining commons with aspiring scientists. It should give some good stories for staying strong.

Guest post: Whole Life Challenge by Viva Violence

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 16:34:07 -0400

Hi, I’m Viva Violence!. I will be guest blogging about a 8 week long “Whole Life Challenge” (excessive quotations = read in the voice of Chris Farley) that I’m embarking on with a few of my friends. I’ve dabbled in the caveman diet before. You can read about that experience and my background for this challenge here. Well, what is a “whole life challenge” you ask? It’s a challenge to create a sustainable healthy lifestyle. So for diet (note, diet means what you eat. everyone is on a diet. I am not restricting calories or trying to lose weight), you cut out all grains, soy, dairy, processed food, added sugar and alcohol. For lifestyle, you exercise at least 10 minutes a day (includes active recovery for rest days), stretch/roll/mobility for at least 10 minutes a day, and take fish oil (to try to bring your Omega6:Omega3 fat intake from a normal 20+:1 down to an ideal 3:1).

Why would you do these things? Well, the basic answer for nutrition is that you want to eliminate the foods that are most likely to cause an allergic reaction in your body. Other health benefits include but are not limited to: clearer skin, steady insulin and other hormone levels, lose fat, promote bone health, for a happy healthy brain etc. I think we all know that exercise and stretching are good for us, and take fish oil, again for a happy healthy brain (I have to use mine a lot). Also participate for some friendly competition (there are points awarded, random giveaways etc).
Okay, but personally why would I do this? Two things really. I want to run an infamous ½ marathon, pier to peak, which routes 13.1 miles from the ocean to the top of a mountain. Yes, I want to run this, and I want to do it in less than 2.5 hours (yeah, I know that’s slow for a half marathon, but did I mention the 4000 ft elevation gain?) and I want to do this run while sporting an outfit and smile like Michelle Jenneke (if you know me, you know looking good is important).

I expect a few hardships along the way:

I’m defending my dissertation. This will be a nutrition cheat day. Remember, the challenge is about sustainability, not perfection.
BFF visit
a wedding and a baby party
a potential move (life changing event, not like down the street or something)
one or three weeks of eating in the dining commons with summer interns.

Resources to make it through:

My WLC cohort
weekly potluck dinners
watching the olympics
being called fat or any caveman/dinosaur joke you can think of by team heckle.

The challenge is judged by an on your honor point system, measurements and workout performance improvement. The overall outcome is to make a sustainable healthy life.Stay tuned for next week where I’ll post my pre-challenge pictures and performance scores and give weekly updates on fun recipes and how to cope with being healthy in an unhealthy world.

PS: I like to know a lot of stuff. I’ve done a bunch of research and have some strong opinions about things related to this. If you have any questions, feel free to message me. vivaviolence@gmail.com

Eating at Rollercon

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:29:00 -0400

We are one week away from Rollercon, the annual roller derby convention held in glorious Las Vegas, NV. Rollercon is a yearly event that is home to 5 days of skating, debauchery, skating, and more debauchery, and is held at the Riviera Hotel and Casino.

The Riv has the jankiest food court I have ever seen, and severely lacks in snacking options. I know this, because I decided to nix all gluten (read: NOT paleo) from my diet this week last year, and I had so much (NOT) fun eating while I was in Vegas. I sat on my ass and watched roller derby for 15 hours a day, ate beef jerky (don’t worry, it was gluten free but it was really expensive), and drank Monster Lemonade Tea energy drinks. The only time I changed it up was the day I ventured away from the tracks, and out to the food court with a friend; I had black beans and awful steak from La Salsa. I more or less pickled myself between all of those chemicals in the Monster, the sodium in the jerky, and the stale smoky casino air.

I promised myself that this year, I would do something to avoid being in that situation again. So for the past 356 days – yes, almost a full year - , I have been planning on how I would cook and pre-package my food to bring with me to Rollercon.

I made my hotel reservation in January and I am fortunate enough that my room reservation comes with a mini fridge. If, for some reason it doesn’t, I will have a very large cooler (read: hide a body in) to store all of my foods in. I am so glad ice is free, because I will go through a lot of it. Also on the ‘To Pack’ list: slow cooker, Foreman grill, rice cooker. Bet your ass I will be reserving all of the fat from anything I make on that Foreman grill.

I am very lucky to have access to a kitchen, thanks to my wonderful parents who are residents of Nevada, the day before Rollercon starts. We’ll be doing a lot of prepping there. By prepping, I mean slow cooking things, broiling things, eating things…stuff like that. Pretty much making all of the things that aren’t breakfast. I am cooking for 5 people over 5 days, so this is likely going to take all day, minus the hour we’re gone to do Early Bird Registration.

Are you thinking, “Tiggles, shut up and tell us what is on the menu”? Here is a rough draft of what I want to make/have on hand. Maybe more, maybe less:

Peach glazed pork roast in the slow cooker

Garlic Dijon Chicken/plain chicken breasts

A couple of vegetable dishes that are tolerable cold (to be determined)

Leafy green mix salad

Homemade protein bars

Pumpkin muffins

Scrambled eggs (in the rice cooker) and bacon (not pre-made)

I will post a full update on food, recipes and cool shit once I get back.

My cooking partner in crime for this trip, Jefa, also suggested it would be a great idea to have some pre-made stuff as well. She is a genius. She is also a mother, so that’s why she thinks of shit like this.

That’s Jefa in the middle, number 77, being used as a cannonball. Hi Jefa! Photo credit to the awesome George Medina

On the pre-made list:

Applegate Farms lunch meats

Steve’s Paleo Kits

Chocolate covered almonds

Hard boiled eggs

Fresh fruit (bananas, kiwis and citrus fruits!)

If you are going to Rollercon and were totally friggin’ stumped on how you can maintain your healthy eating habits, I hope this helped or at least gave you some ideas. You have one week to prepare, so make it happen. AND, duh, we already know this, but don’t forget to bring like six cases of water with you - the casino air sucks, the weather is hot and dry, and you will be drinking and/or super physically active. HYDRATION IS IMPORTANT. Write it on your hand, along with your room number.

See ya!

-Tiggie

Paleo Snobs has a Facebook!

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 13:11:10 -0400

Please like us, and tell all your friends!

www.facebook.com/PaleoSnobs

A short update/guest post - Protein Pancake Surprise

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 12:58:48 -0400

Hello out there in Tumblr land! We’ve gotten so many new followers recently, so I just wanted to say THANK YOU for following Paleo Snobs! Life has been really busy for both Reno and I, and you know what happens when you are busy? You cook less….or you just make huge batches of garlic mustard chicken. Anyway….

Yesterday, I accomplished something I never thought I would be able to do ever (again) after breaking my shoulder: 30 REAL burpees (as in…to the floor, and back up instead of a modified updown), and a 55lb jerk press. That number is really small if you are a powerlifter, or you’ve been doing Crossfit for awhile, but I’m 2 months in, with a probable torn labrum after a really difficult (mis)diagnosis of a separated AC joint and a fractured scapula in October 2011. ALWAYS DO YOUR PHYSICAL THERAPY.

I have a really simple guest post from a lovely lady I’ve known for many years. We have the same tattoo artist, we joined roller derby at the same time, and then…she moved away from me. To Portland. And now, I really miss her. She is really cool and I enjoy her existance. Her name is Renee, and I am really grateful that she threw this together so quickly so I have content to bring you!

-Tiggie

___________________________

Hello y’all !
So I recently converted to a primal/paleo diet about 5 months ago. I absolutely love it. Being the sugar fiend I am, with the treat obsessed appetite I have, my new favorite pastime has become perfecting paleo alternatives for my favorite “naughty” dishes. My new favorite right now is my Protein Pancake Surprise.

Experiment and enjoy!

Ingredients:

2 1/2 tbsp Protein Powder. The thicker the protein powder, the better the consistency of the pancakes. Feel free to experiment; you’re looking for the same or close to the real pancake consistency.

1/2 tsp of baking powder

Pinch of Sea Salt

1 Egg

1 tsp oil (melted coconut oil is tasty)

2 tsp of h20 as needed.
The amount of water needed depends on the consistency of the protein powder. Too thick? Add a little more water. Not thick enough? Less water.

Whisk till fluffy thick consistency of normal pancakes

This makes enough for about 1 serving but the pancakes are dense and tasty. I’m sugar free as well, so I like to add cinnamon and unsweetened chocolate chips. If you’re not sugar free, fruit and maple syrup of the paleo manner should be just right for these.

The surprise is how much they resemble pancakes without all the grains, carbs and sugar (they can have sugar added if desired). Add some butter on top, or jelly…or whatever your little heart desires.

Thanks for reading
-Renee

BLTA Wraps

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:45:55 -0400

Bacon. If we’ve known each other for more than a week, you know about my bacon obsession. I don’t really care. Bacon is what they should give you at communion instead of a wafer. Everyone should toast at weddings with a nice, crispy piece of bacon. BACON.

I didn’t take that picture but it’s a really nice picture of some tasty bacon.

So I’ve been MIA recently because I moved back to my hometown. It’s sad, I know. But it’s for the best and I’m already doing well here. OKAY, BACK TO BACON.

I made some BLTA (bacon, lettuce, tomato and avocado) wraps this past weekend. Freaking amazing. Super easy, too.

BLTA Wraps
(Serves 2)

6 pieces of bacon
4 pieces of romaine lettuce, washed and dried
1/2 avocado, sliced lengthwise
1/2 small tomato, sliced (I used these pretty brown heirloom tomatoes)
1 Tbsp mayonaise or aioli

Cook the bacon. Bacon usually turns out better if I cook it in the microwave, so I do. While the bacon is cooking, spread some mayo on two of the lettuce leaves. Put 1/4 of the avocado on each lettuce leaf and then the tomatoes. When the bacon is done, place 3 pieces ever so gently on top of each leaf. Put the other lettuce leaves on top. Consume. Like Godzilla.

Almond crusted chicken and asparagus and snap peas in proscuitto

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:23:33 -0400

This sounds really fancy, but it’s not. In fact, it’s one of the most simple-fancy meals I’ve ever made. My grandmother (not a bacon lover) walked into the kitchen and said, “wow, that smells good!” and that is because it IS good, my friends.

I just got back from spending 4 days with my darling boyfriend in beautiful Cleveland, Ohio. In Ohio, there are no other vegetables besides broccoli. Broccoli sucks. So basically, I ate garbage and felt like shit. But, that feeling has subsided. Today I went back to real life, and did a dope metcon at Crossfit with my lovely fellow paleo friend Fish (who I am dying to get a guest post from coughcough). Then, I came home to make this. And now I’m sharing it with you while I wait for the shower. I desperately need to shower.

Almond Crusted Chicken

4-6 chicken breasts (thinly sliced)
1.5 cups almond meal

To taste: garlic powder, lemon pepper, season salt, cayenne pepper…basically, whatever seasonings you want.
3 eggs beaten
Gallon sized zippy baggy
Baking sheet covered in foil

Preheat your oven broiler, and beat your eggs together in a bowl. Not at the same time, because that’s probably a disaster waiting to happen. Clean your chicken and set it aside.

In a gallon sized zippy baggy, combine all of your dry ingredients; make sure you smush it around to combine your seasonings. Dip your chicken in the egg and coat it well on both sides, and then stick your chicken breasts (no more than two at a time) into the dry ingredient mixture. Once thoroughly coated on both sides, removed the breast (teehee) from the bag, and set it on the baking sheet.

When all of your breasts are ready, put the baking sheet in your broiler on high for approx. 10 mins. Keep an eye on it. After the 10 mins is up, flip the chicken and put it in for another 5-8 mins. You will have crispy ends.

Asparagus and Snap Peas in Proscuitto

Bundle of asparagus
A handful of sugar snap peas
1/2 package chopped proscuitto or bacon (whatever you prefer)
1/4 teaspoon minced garlic

Prep your greens: take half of your asparagus stalk, and cut them half way down. The bottom is too fiberous for my liking. Examine your snap peas and WASH EVERYTHING. Dry, and set aside.

In a large skillet, cook 1/2 the package of chopped proscuitto (or bacon) on medium. Let the fat render and become delicious. When the meat really starts to sweat, add your veggies and your garlic. Stir around like you just don’t care, and once your veggies start turning a lovely vibrant green, cover and let the veggies and meat cook for a couple of minutes at a time. If you like your veggies less crunchy, let them sit longer. Proscuitto/bacon will be crispy and perfect when it’s finished.

VIOLA!

An ode to Health Bent's Maple Mustard Chicken

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 00:56:56 -0400

I am obsessed with this chicken. Like, so much so that I eat it a minimum of three times a week. I wish I could shake the hands of the authors of Health Bent for creating this amazing, simple chicken, because it’s so good, I can’t even. Maple Mustard Chicken, you are life’s gift to food.

This blog post is not about Health Bent, or their Maple Mustard Heaven. It’s about my variation, Dijon garlic chicken, which I have down to a science. It was inspired by my father, who is a diabetic but is trying to eat better. One time, I was telling him about this chicken, and he was like “I can’t have maple syrup…that whole diabetes thing.” OH YEAH. Sorry, tangent. Basically, if you are a diabeetus cat, this probably will work out a little better for you.

I make 2-4 breasts at a time, because it’s good cold. It’s good on late Crossfit/derby practice nights. It’s perfect for lunch. IT IS PERFECT AND IT IS GOOD. TRUST ME. But only if you like Dijon.

DIJON GARLIC CHICKEN ALA TIGGIE

Here is a really ugly photo of some delicious chicken and asparagus.

What you need:

Anywhere from 2-4 chicken breasts/thighs whatever you prefer
Whole grain Dijon mustard (I use almost the entire jar, but maybe normal people narrow it down to about a cup.)
A generous amount of garlic powder. I probably use 2 heaping tbsp.
2 tbsp. garlic infused olive oil - I get mine from Trader Joe’s. This is important, and regular olive oil will not suffice.
A baking sheet covered in tin foil
A quart or gallon size zip closure storage bag (depending on how much chicken you make)

Start by cleaning your chicken, cause it’s dirty. Leave the fat on, because that’s important and delicious, but get rid of the veins. Set the chicken aside for later in your zip closure bag

In a measuring cup or bowl, combine the Dijon, olive oil, and garlic powder and stir until everything is combined. Then stick your fingertip in it and taste it. Do you think it needs more garlic? Add it. Make sure you have a kissing partner for later.

Grab your chicky in the zippy (that’s the zip closure bag), and dump the Dijon mixture in there. Make sure you get the air out of the bag, close it, and smush (that’s a real cooking term) the chicken around in the mixture until the chicken looks covered. Stick those suckers in the fridge to sit and marry for 15 mins.

While the chicks and Dijon marry, pre-heat your oven broiler on high. Once the 15 minutes of marinade is over, take the chicken out of the zippy and place the pieces onto your foil covered baking sheet and get that residual sauce from the zippy onto your chicken! It’s important not to waste any bit of this sauce…man, it’s so good.

Get the chicken into the oven for 15 minutes until the top of the chicken starts browning. Keep an eye on it, because my oven might be different from yours. Take it out, plate it, and eat it.

You could also grill this, but I fail at grilling so that’s on you to work out. Happy eating!

-Tiggie

Yummy things that come out of a pot!

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 18:27:12 -0400

I love my enamel coated cast iron Dutch oven (heh, Dutch oven). It is my favorite thing to cook stews, soups, broths, meat in broth… you get the picture. I cook with it often, which gets kind of annoying because it’s heavy and makes it harder to clean. But I don’t care, the things that come out of it are amazing!!

So, I eat a lot of chicken. A LOT. It’s cheap and Smart and Final always has it on sale. I just bought 4 pounds of chicken leg quarters for $3.30 at Fart and Smile. They’re bone-in and skin-on. I usually skin and bone them so I can make Maple Mustard Chicken. I NEVER THROW THE BONES OR SKIN AWAY. Freeze the bones so they don’t go bad. I make chicken chicharrones from the skin and stock from the bones.

The stock is heaven. It’s full of flavor. I can’t explain. Just do this, you’ll understand.

This recipe is for those of you who think that buying celery and carrots just to throw into a pot of boiling water is like throwing money in the trash. I feel that way. I never buy carrots or celery of my own accord. I never just have them laying around. So I found a way to not invite them to my hot tub party.

Chicken Stock

2 pounds chicken bones
2 pounds chicken leg quarters, cut up into 2 inch pieces (you can use any cut, just make sure you have skin and bone in there)
1 large onion, chopped
Olive oil
8 cups boiling water
2 tsp salt
2 bay leaves

Heat the olive oil in the bottom of your pot over medium heat. Throw in the onions and cook until softened and slightly browned. Pull the onions out and keep them in a medium-large bowl. Add the chicken leg quarters to the pot and cook until the chicken is no longer pink. Put those chicken pieces in the bowl with the onions. Cook the chicken bones the same way, making sure nothing is pink. Return the onions and chicken to the pot, reduce the heat to low, cover the pot and cook the chicken until it releases its juices (Ewwww. Just kidding, it’s AWESOME.) for about 20 minutes. While those babies are juicing, boil 8 cups of water. After the chicken has been cooking for 20 minutes, add the boiling water, the salt and the bay leaves. Crank the heat up to high. Once it’s boiling, reduce it to low and scrape up any browned bits at the bottom of the pot with a wooden spoon. Cover again and simmer gently for another 20 minutes. Allow the stock to cool. Pull out all the solid pieces with a slotted spoon and throw them away or feed just the meat to your cats. (I may or may not have done that.) Strain the remaining stock through cheesecloth and a metal sieve or a paper towel and a metal sieve. I refrigerated the stock until all the fat came to the top. Then I skimmed all that fat off (which I will use to cook with later! Yay frugality!) and was left with this gelatinous mass of stock. I promptly used the whole thing in my broccoli soup. (You COULD also keep it in the fridge for a week, or in the freezer for a few months.)

Broccoli Soup

Olive oil, butter or fat of choice
1 cup chopped onion
2 crowns broccoli
8 cups chicken stock
2 sprigs fresh thyme leaves
salt & pepper to taste
Greek yogurt or sour cream to top (optional)

Heat your pot with the fat of choice over medium low. Saute the onions in the fat until they’re translucent and soft. While that’s happening, cut the broccoli crowns into small pieces and if you’re using the stems, be sure to peel them first (the outside of the stem is woody).

When the onions are ready, throw the broccoli, stock and thyme into the pot. Bring to a boil, then turn down and let simmer until the broccoli is softened. Let it cool for just a bit before blending everything in batches. Return the soup to the pot to reheat. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve with a dollop (A DOLLOP) of Greek yogurt or sour cream, if desired.

<3 Reno

rollerderbynerd: slamsa-stark: “Well, at least we won the...

Thu, 31 May 2012 14:06:22 -0400

rollerderbynerd:

slamsa-stark:

“Well, at least we won the afterparty.”

I love, love LOVE this video, so fricken’ funny. If you haven’t seen it, please watch it, so good!

I will forever be in love with Dumptruck. -Reno

rollerderbynerd: chicagooutfitrollerderby: Hero Shima on the...

Thu, 31 May 2012 14:04:35 -0400

rollerderbynerd:

chicagooutfitrollerderby:

Hero Shima on the ground. Strange roller derby.

Chicago Outfit Syndicate vs Midwest Megateam

Steve Searns photography

“I LOST MY CONTACT!”

“Are you sure this is how you play leapfrog??”

A weekend to remember...

Tue, 29 May 2012 22:57:00 -0400

Three-day weekends RULE. I made the trek up to Fresno to see my parents for the weekend. When I pulled off the freeway, I immediately bee-lined for the farmer’s market. Fresno has one of the best farmer’s markets ever. It is the number one agricultural county in America, btw. Totes bragging. My parents met me there and we bought all sorts of things: cherries, tiny sweet strawberries, green tomatoes, cauliflower, Tuscan kale, three kinds of squash, morel mushrooms… I should have taken a picture of our bounty. I’ll get better about that.

The first night we made a turkey and Tuscan kale skillet/ throwtogether/ scramble thing. Delicious. The kale wasn’t bitter at all. We had that with just some steamed yellow squash. (Recipes at the end!)

Ma made a bacon and caramelized onion frittata for breakfast. Also amazing. I took some of those tiny baby strawberries and added some goat’s milk and forest honey for a little breakfast dessert.

Had a very late lunch that day of pork burgers and green beans. I love canned green beans. They are CHEAP. Get on that. My mom put a Thai salad dressing on them but I love a good homemade balsamic vinaigrette, too. The ground pork we got at R&N Market. If you have one in your vicinity, check them out. Ground pork is surprisingly low in fat, too.

We also procured some freaking awesome beef cheeks at R&N. And a flat iron roast. There is a mushroom farm nearby my mom’s horse farm, so we stopped there and got some king oyster and shimeji mushrooms. (Important note: mushrooms are grown in dirt or sand. WASH THEM CAREFULLY. When you buy your morels, be sure to release them from any plastic prison they may be in. They can go bad very quickly.) She braised the cheek and roast in red wine, beef bouillon, thyme and bay leaves. They cooked in the oven for like 3 hours. She reduced the leftover liquid and added some cream and cooked the mushrooms (including the morels we got at the farmer’s market) in it. Holy food. And it didn’t take a lot to fill me up, even though I wanted to eat the rest of the cheek so badly. No room. Oh well.

For Memorial Day, all I ate was my dad’s amazing smoked pork ribs. I had one rib and I was full. What the heck, body?! But I have to listen to her, she needs to be well-oiled in order to work properly.

Speaking of my body, I am SO SORE. I rode 4 horses this weekend and jumped thrice. I forgot how much fun it is to ride and fly through the air. But the older I get, the more my mantra becomes “please don’t die, please don’t die, PLEASE DON’T DIE.” I didn’t. I’m tough. It’s cool, I got this. Here are some gratuitous baby horse photos.

Turkey and Tuscan Kale Skillet

1 1/4 pounds ground turkey
3 bunches of Tuscan (flat-leaf or “black”) kale, very roughly chopped
1 large onion, diced
1 can diced tomatoes, drained
Garlic salt and pepper to taste

Brown turkey in a large skillet. Add onion and cook until translucent. Toss kale in and cook until all wilted. Add diced tomatoes. Add sessnins (seasonings). EAT IT ALL. Okay, not all of it, it’s a lot for one person.

Pork Burgers

1 pound ground pork
1 tsp garlic powder
3 sprigs-worth of thyme leaves
1 tsp red pepper flakes
s&p

Put all ingredients in a bowl and squish them all together. I use my hands. You can use your hands, too, it’s okay. Form two (or more, I like big burgers) patties. Don’t forget to wash those hands when you’re done with them. Heat a skillet on medium with a little olive oil. Place the patties in the skillet and let them cook for awhile. Since I had big burgers, it was at least 6-7 minutes on each side. With smaller burgers, I would do 4 minutes each side. Don’t eat undercooked pork, please. My stomach might be able to handle it, but I like you guys more than my gut. Check it before taking it out of the pan. You’ll be surprised how little fat there actually is in a pork burger!

Dijon Balsamic Vinaigrette

1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup olive oil

Hi, my name is Reno and I’m addicted to Dijon mustard. Don’t you judge me.

Put all ingredients in a small tupperware or mason jar or whatever container you can shake up easily. SHAKE IT UP. Shake until everything is emulsified. Easy. It’s delicious and will go great on salads or, I don’t know, green beans.

More recipes from this weekend will happen as soon as my mom responds to my email.

<3 Reno

PCOS f*cking sucks - Warning, female probz ahead.

Fri, 25 May 2012 13:43:00 -0400

Imagine having a condition that effectively turns you into a teenage boy. Acne, hair in weird places, weight gain, no periods… Who needs a sex change when PCOS exists?

PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) is one of the most common female endocrine disorders. About 5-10% of the female population has it.

The principal features are anovulation, resulting in irregular menstruation, amenorrhea, ovulation-related infertility, and polycystic ovaries; excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones, resulting in acne and hirsutism; and insulin resistance, often associated with obesity, Type 2 diabetes, and high cholesterol levels.

I stole that. But it’s in quotes, so it’s okay.

I got my period in 7th grade. Eff me, it was the most painful thing ever. I bled for 7 days like someone was murdering my uterus. I remember having to stay home at least one day out of every month. Even into high school, I would fall asleep, crying, in the fetal position. When I was 15, I begged my mom to put me on birth control because I just couldn’t take the pain anymore. She finally agreed. PAIN-FREE WONDERLAND. Both my parents are gynos, btw. Yes, both of them. No, I don’t see them for pelvic exams. Any more questions?

I was always a skinny kid. I rode 2-3 horses per day and liked to play sports at school when I had the time. I started having trouble with my weight when I was about 19. I thought that because I was in an unhappy relationship, I got fat. I gained about 20 pounds.

When we broke up, I lost 25 pounds. Problem solved.

When I transferred to UCLA in 2007, my weight started to pack on again. I was up 20 pounds again, but I didn’t look bad and I felt fine. So I never really worried. In 2009, I got up to 196. You should have seen my back fat. I went on Weight Watchers and dropped 20 pounds. I was fine there, so I stopped.

I started my fresh meat program in the beginning of 2010.

In about April 2010, I decided to go off of my birth control. I was on the NuvaRing. I remember hearing some bad stuff about the Ring so I decided to try not using it and seeing how it would affect me.

Bad idea.

I gained weight slowly and didn’t have my period for 7 months. SEVEN MONTHS. I knew I wasn’t pregnant because I took a few tests. Finally, at the end of 2010, I had my period. FOR A FREAKING MONTH. I wouldn’t stop bleeding. I was so pissed at my body, I can’t even tell you. I went to the clinic because I knew something was wrong. They couldn’t really tell me anything.

I ended up talking to my mom about it. I think I didn’t want to tell her because I felt like I was taking advantage of her knowledge without paying for it. I don’t always like things for free, I feel like I should work for things. Anyway, I told her my symptoms and she diagnosed me OVER THE PHONE. That’s how rad of a doctor my mom is. She’s in Fresno. If you want a good vagina doctor, lemme know. She also told me that I probably have an insulin resistance and that’s why I’m gaining weight. She recommended a low-carb diet. Ugh. I love carbs.

She told me to go see a reproductive endocrinologist in Beverly Hills. I saw her in May 2011. She had me do blood work and she confirmed my mom’s diagnosis. She put me back on birth control and told me to lose weight. I was at 200 at that point. Oh, okay, because I haven’t been trying. :|

I discovered the paleo diet while watching FatHead on Netflix (it’s on watch instantly, go inform yourself!). I tried it for awhile (okay, like a month) but wasn’t seeing any weight loss. So I stopped. Stupid.

I finally got up to 208.

I went back on Weight Watchers in November 2011 and lost almost 30 pounds. Portion control seems to be a problem. I at least learned how to listen to my body when it’s ACTUALLY hungry or not. But I still didn’t feel healthy. I didn’t feel good. I felt skinny fat.

So back to paleo. Tiggie sent me a few paleo recipes and I was hooked again. I felt like I had something to look forward to, a goal to achieve. I also didn’t quit carbs cold turkey. I weaned. I’m still weaning off of sugar. I use some Splenda in my coffee. I’ll eventually stop that, too. I had one cheat day right in the beginning of my paleo restart with some chicken and mushroom risotto and a piece of foccacia bread. The bread was NOT worth it. It was cold and blah. Not even 20 minutes after dinner, I felt sick. I touched my stomach (my actual stomach, right under my ribs) and it was HARD. Then I felt bloated. It was disgusting. I felt fat again.

I’m slowly losing weight, but I’m more focused on turning the little bits of fat left on my body into muscle. I’d like to fit into a size 9 jeans again. I’d like to be ripped, really. But mostly, I’d just like to be able to stop my PCOS symptoms. And have a baby. I hope I can have a baby in the future.

<3 Reno

Tiggie's Paleo Solution and why roller derby saved my life

Thu, 24 May 2012 18:33:00 -0400

This is going to be wordy, so you have been forewarned. And emotional. Because talking about this kind of bothers me, but I know its important to talk about. Prepare for a LOT of text.

I spent three years of my life feeling awful. I had joint pain, GERD, IBS, abdominal pain, to name a few. I thought that was totally normal. It all started late in 2009, when I went to a fancy steakhouse for dinner.

I ordered a filet mignon, broccoli and mashed potatoes. Of course, there was abundant warm fresh bread being brought to the table. My meal was delicious, but the next morning, I woke up and couldn’t move. Seriously. My fingers were in so much pain that I felt crippled. I called out of work (where I sat at a desk and typed on a computer) to sit home and cry. I could not uncurl my fingers painlessly for three days. But I’m stubborn, so rather than go to a doctor, I decided that I was allergic to animal proteins (yeah, what?) and I was now going to follow a vegan diet/lifestyle. Surprisingly enough, this relieved my ailments, but only temporarily.

In January 2010, I decided to try roller derby. I don’t know why, at 23 years old, after a life of being completely sedentary and totally friggen lazy, I thought it would be a good idea to begin training for a full contact sport. But it was the best decision I ever made.

I made all of these great friends and I felt like I had this amazing new family, but after three attempts of trying to pass my fresh meat program (and failing), my body started to rebel against me. Now, it wasn’t just my fingers that were hurting. I had a chronic problem in my hip called Trochanteric Bursitis that seriously hindered me from skating for a full two hour practice. Once diagnosed, the ortho told me to take 2 Aleve every 6 hours. By day 3, I felt like I couldn’t function, so I stopped. I also developed really serious heartburn to a point where I was carrying around an economy sized bottle of TUMS in my purse and eating 8 or 9 of them at once, just to get through the day. At my worst, I was going to the bathroom (the kind that ladies don’t do) 10 times a day. Every inch of my body hurt - joints and skin - and because I wasn’t physically in shape (or maybe it was the fact that my body was so stressed and my nerves weren’t firing correctly) I was suffering from injury after injury. I was falling apart and not succeeding. I saw a gastroenterologist who tested me for Crohn’s disease, Celiac disease, Colitis and hypothyroidism. All tests except for my thyoid (which came back normal) came back inconclusive. But “HERE YOU GO, YOU HAVE GERD SO TAKE THESE PILLS AND CALL ME.” You know who has GERD? Your 76 year old grandfather. Living life in pain became normal and I just chalked this up to not being athletic. Things take time, but with the way I was beating myself up in and outside of practices, there was no reason or excuse for why I wasn’t improving or why I felt the way I did.

My mom, bless her soul, has three auto-immune diseases, and my brother has one as well. She thought it would be a good idea for me to go see a rheumatologist since a lot of the things I was experiencing were similar to some symptoms of something she had. I finally gave in, but the soonest appointment I could get was three months out. I had lived like this for a couple of years, so what’s a couple more months, right? WRONG. The weather got warmer and I started developing skin rashes on my arms and abdomen from being out in the sun. It didn’t matter if I wore SPF 1,000,0000+. My hair was falling out in clumps. I was tired, bloated, gassy, not losing weight. And I still sucked at skating.

Shortly before my league’s round of B-team try outs, we had a scrimmage practice where my legs just gave out from under me on the track. I am a person who does not cry, but I skated off the track to the bathroom and began to sob. I knew I wasn’t going to make this team, and I contemplated if derby was even for me (which is a super mentally painful thing to do). I also wondered if I was dying. I mean, how could I not be? I had all of these things wrong with me and I was such an idiot to let it go for so long, and…..

So I took to the Library at Google University (the internet, ya’ll) and began doing some research. I had every symptom of Fibromyalga, and multiple symptoms of Lupus. WELL EFF ME. I knew it would be nearly impossible to get a diagnosis for Fibromyalga since that’s not a “real thing”, and Lupus…well it’s a possibility but I had to go to the doctor to find out, and that was still two months out. So I kept digging. And then I learned about gluten sensitivity. This is a thing that looks like a lot of other things, I’ll think about it. And then Reno began talking about grain free diets, and paleo, and insisted on showing me this documentary called Fathead. Cool, bro. But again, I’ll think about it. Finally, I was posting on a message board and I had mentioned my issues. Another person told me to try a grain free diet. Ok, fine. I’ll try it. 20,000 people can’t be wrong (ok, 3.) But this means I can’t be vegan anymore because HOW WILL I GET PROTEIN WITHOUT GARDEIN BURGER PATTIES?!?!?

Within a week of no gluten and adding fish, I felt better but something was still missing. So I began to slowly add non vegan things back into my diet. If it didn’t make me feel bad, I kept it. If it did, it went byebye. And then a funny thing happened - everything stopped hurting. Seriously, everything all at once. I became a decent skater, and weight started melting off. My endurance shot up and I became strong and confident, and landed a spot on a travel team. I made it point to only eat the most natural foods, even if they weren’t paleo friendly, with the goal in mind to eventually adhere to a paleo diet. The golden rule: don’t eat anything your great grandmother wouldn’t be familiar with.

Six months ago, I realized my hair was still falling out and I still had lots of mucus production. Already having so much experience with gluten elimination, I turned to other grains. And slowly I found that I react the same way to brown rice as I do to gluten, white rice makes my hair fall out, and corn bloats me. Not sure what kept my mucus production in overdrive, but it had to be the rice, since that’s no longer a problem. Now, here I am in all of my paleo adventure glory and I’ve fully committed to it, and helping others make the leap (because if I can do it, so can you…trust me). It’s just the beginning, but I’m having fun with it.

Please note that I am still human. For some reason, a lot of my friends think I’m this weird superhuman seriously disciplined freakazoid who doesn’t ever enjoy sugar or goodies or fun. I still indulge in things on cheater days, but never gluten. Sometimes I want popcorn at the movies. It is what it is, but I know I have to deal with the consequences. Maybe I won’t skate as fast or feel as well the next day - and I ask myself that question every time I think about picking up an allergen. IS IT WORTH FEELING LIKE SHIT? Seriously, ask yourself that. No, seriously….

Happy living, ya’ll. Hopefully this helps somebody.

Lets talk about artichokes!

Thu, 24 May 2012 12:23:00 -0400

I wanna talk about artichokes…these prickly little bitches full of deliciousness and love.

Artichokes are my favorite vegetable, even though they take a bit of work to prepare and eat. But that work is not in vain, my friends. Oh no. A really good artichoke to me is the equivalent to a big piece of fresh baked bread to our grain eating buddies. You know when you walk into the grocery store at the end of the day, and you can smell the loaves of fresh baked bread that are set out warm and ready for the dinnertime shoppers? That’s what eating an artichoke is like for me.

The globe artichoke (Cynara cardunculus var. scolymus)^[1] is a perennial thistle of the genus Cynara originating in Southern Europe around the Mediterranean. It grows to 1.4–2 metres (4.6–6.6 ft) tall, with arching, deeply lobed, silvery, glaucous-green leaves 50–82 centimetres (20–32 in) long. The flowers develop in a large head from an edible bud about 8–15 centimetres (3.1–5.9 in) diameter with numerous triangular scales; the individual florets are purple. The edible portion of the buds consists primarily of the fleshy lower portions of the involucral bracts and the base, known as the “heart”; the mass of immature florets in the center of the bud is called the “choke” or beard. These are inedible in older larger flowers.

That’s from Wikipedia. In case you’re a scientist and want to know all kinds of scientific things about the artichoke. Don’t worry, we cater to both laymen and scientists. Now you know what you’re eating - a FLOWER.

According to the interwebz (and maybe you’ll want to take this with a grain of salt), one boiled globe artichoke contains 60 cals, 13g of carbs, 6g of fiber, 425g of potassium and 4g of protein. It also contains 20% of your daily vitamin C intake, 4% vitamin A, 5% calcium, and 9% iron. You know what? Give me two globe artichokes then.

HOW TO PREP AND COOK THE TIGGIE WAY

Ok, let me backtrack a bit. When you’re at the grocery store picking out your ‘chokes, pick the biggest fullest looking ones with a nice stem. If they’re brown, forget about them. If you have a Trader Joe’s, you can pick up 4 small artichokes in a plastic container for about the same price as two large ones in a regular grocery store.

When you get them home, RINSE THEM. Get any weird unwanted critters out of there. You can use warm water and coarse sea salt to do this. Sprinkle the salt all over and inside the leaves of the artichoke, and rinse well. Turn upside down to drain. Use a big sharp knife to cut off the stem, and use scissors to cut off the prickly part of the leaves.

Fill a pot with water. Depending on how many you’re making, you can choose the size of the pot. I usually fill the pot half way up and just keep my eye on it when it starts to boil. Place the artichokes in the water, and cover with a lid. I like the leaves to pretty much fall off when I’m eating them, so I boil/steam the artichoke for an hour to an hour and a half. When the leaves come off easily with a little tug, they are done. Then you eat the bitch. The artichoke leaves have “meat” until about half way down. Eat that. And when you get to the heart, eat that too. But first, you have to scoop out all the shit in the middle. Please, do not eat the artichoke needles. When you scoop those out, eat the heck out of that artichoke heart - it’s the best part.

Another method of cooking is using the grill - cut the artichoke in half using a large sharp knife, and drizzle them with your fat of choice (I like Trader Joe’s garlic olive oil, but you could just as easily use coconut or bacon fat. YUM).

You can serve the artichoke with some Kerrygold butter if that’s your steeze, or you can make a super easy garlic aioli. GARLIC AIOLI? YEAH. GARLIC AIOLI. You want a recipe? Ok, here you go! You’ll need a bowl and a small whisk, or a food processor if you’re nasty.

Garlic Aioli

- 1 organic, free range egg at room temp

-1 cup olive oil (I use the aforementioned TJ’s garlic olive oil, but if you don’t use this, you will need….)

- 1-2 cloves of garlic (optional, see above)

- juice from 1/2 lemon

- salt & pep

Separate the room temp egg yolk from the egg white. Reserve the white for another day. Waste makes haste, especially when you’re poor. Put the yolk into the bowl. If you need to add the garlic, do it now, but mince it first. Also add the salt and pepper. Here comes the fun part: whisk your egg yolk while you SLOWLY (I cannot emphasize this enough) add in your olive oil. If you add the oil in too quickly, your egg and oil will never emulsify no matter what you do. Continue to add in the oil until the mixture starts to become creamy - you may or may not need all of the olive oil so keep an eye on it. When you’re done, add the lemon juice and stir.

If you’re doing this in a food processor, just add all of the shit together in the food processor, and drizzle the oil into the top until it emulsifies. Add the lemon juice last.

(Artichoke with Kerrygold butter, and nut crusted salmon with lemon. I didn’t make that salmon, but I will make it and post a recipe.)

-Tiggie

Lamb Chops and Brussel Sprouts with Bacon

Thu, 24 May 2012 12:13:00 -0400

I know what you’re thinking. “Lamb? Isn’t that expensive?” Yes, it is. But when it’s on sale for 50% OFF, I can’t pass it up. I got two fairly big chops for under $5. You gotta cruise the clearance meat section. And then when you get home with your discounted delights, use them or freeze them. They won’t keep for long in the fridge (I speak from experience). I love the marinade that I use for lamb and I don’t really think I want to change it anytime soon. You can use it for any red meat, I’d say. It’s up to you and what’s on sale!

As I’m sure most of you have, I used to hate Brussel sprouts. My mom always tried to serve them at Thanksgiving but I couldn’t get over the “feet” smell. One year, she got fancy and made them with bacon. That’s it. Just some bacon. Simple, right? God I love bacon.

Pan-Fried Lamb Chops

2 large lamb chops (about 1 1/4 pounds)
1/2 cup low sodium soy sauce (use tamari or coconut aminos if you have them, I just have a big bottle of this stuff left and I’m not about to throw it out!)
1/2 cup olive oil
2 cloves garlic, smashed
1 sprig rosemary
fresh ground pepper
fat of choice for cooking

Put all of the ingredients (except the fat) in a plastic bag and shake it all up, making sure the marinade gets all over the lamb. You can either double bag the lamb or place the bag into a baking dish so that it doesn’t drip all over your fridge, bro. Refrigerate for 3-4 hours.

Pull it out of the fridge and wipe the lamb down. If the lamb isn’t dry enough for the pan, it won’t sear nicely. Heat your pan (I use cast-iron) with your fat of choice (I used bacon fat, DUH) and when it’s nice and hot, place those lamby chops right in there. Leave them. Don’t touch them. Don’t poke them. For 2-4 minutes, depending on how thick your lamb is. Flip them over for the same amount on the other side. I like my red meat medium rare, so this is fine for me. If you want it more done, cook it for longer. But don’t flip it over a billion times.

EAT THEM. With these:

Brussel Sprouts with Bacon

1 pound Brussel sprouts (the smaller you can get them, the better. If you can get the on the stalk, heaven.)
1/2 pound bacon (I use the bacon ends and pieces because it’s $6 for 3 pounds, use what you have and what you can afford.)

Cut the ends off of the Brussel sprouts. Get rid of any nasty-looking leaves that might be on the outside. Steam them for 15 minutes. I have a fancy plug-in steamer with a timer on it that I ~~took~~ got from an ex-boyfriend, but you can always use a metal colander stuck above a pot of simmering water.

Run your knife through the bacon just to get some smaller pieces. Get your cast-iron skillet out (I have several, I use them a lot) and heat it up. Throw the bacon in there and cook it until it’s crispy. I want as much bacon fat out of it as I can get. Remove just the bacon from the pan and throw in the sprouts. Toss them around so that the fat gets all over them and cook them until some of them get a little charred. If you don’t like charred, cook them a little less. Throw the bacon pieces back in there and try not to eat the whole thing. I DARE YOU.

<3 Reno

Pizza squash boats

Wed, 23 May 2012 16:30:46 -0400

The more I read out in the blogosphere, the more I find that everybody who does paleo does it in a way that suits them the best. At the beginning, this shit is hard…lets be honest with ourselves. Most people can’t quit all of the things right away. Cheese is a simple pleasure, and pizza is a simple pleasure. You know what keeps people sane? Simple pleasures…reassurance that you are still a human.

I love pizza, and I don’t love vegetables. Pizza tastes good, vegetables don’t (always). Remember a few months ago when Congress declared that pizza was a vegetable? I don’t know if that was real or not, but it was a dumb idea. I want pizza, but I know vegetables are better for me. So out of that, squash pizza boats were born. You can use cheese if you want, or not. You are the master of your own paleo universe. I did here, because I wanted pizza (duh). Kerrygold grassfed cheese (yes, the cheese is fed grass) is REALLY DELICIOUS. It is also expensive - $5.99 at my local grocery store - but I use dairy products so sparsely that one block will last me awhile.

PIZZA SQUASH BOATS

- 2-4 long summer squash
- Your favorite tomato sauce (Sorry, I don’t have a recipe to give you yet.)
- Shredded Kerrygold grass fed cheddar cheese
- Meat of your choice (I used 2 Ardelles sun dried tomato and basil chicken sausage. It’s gluten free/weird preservative free, but you could probably use some grass fed or organic (budget friendly) ground turkey/beef or whatever you want)
- 2 cloves of fresh garlic
- 1 small onion (chopped)
- olive oil

Preheat your oven to 325
Half your squashes long ways and spoon out the middle. Reserve the squash guts in a bowl and the boats to the side.
Next, prep your meat - if you buy those sausages, cut them in quarters and give them a rough chop. Reserve. Since I did this with sausages, and you might be doing it with some other kind of meat, you’re kinda on your own with seasonings.

In a sauce pan, heat the olive oil. When its hot, add the garlic and onions and sweat them. When the onions start to get translucent, add the squash guts and the meat.
When your meat is looking cooked, add in some tomato sauce (however much you want) and some cheese. Stir around so all of the things marry.

Put the squash boats on a baking tray lined with foil, and scoop your mixture into the boats. Top with more sauce if you want, and pop in the oven to bake for 20 mins. YUM.

-Tiggie

Snobbery.

Wed, 23 May 2012 16:10:00 -0400

Look - I’m broke. And I know that there are many of us out there who are also financially impaired. But I’ve chosen to live my life paleo-style for my health, my weight and my happiness. My derby wife, Tiggie, and I found that there were paleo blogs that don’t exactly cater to below-poverty-level lifestyles. In fact, we were snobby about those snobs. Thus “Paleo Snobs” was born. We can do it better AND cheaper. Or at least we’ll attempt to prove it.

We’ll be writing about paleo, fitness and roller derby and how to (or at least try to) do it all on the cheap.

-Reno